Revelations in Hard Times
It's been a hot minute since I actually POSTED on here (even though I've started about 10 posts and never actually got around to finishing them and publishing them). I can never find the exact words that I want to use to give updates on how our family is doing. We're all fine, just FYI, at least physically. Our sanity could be called into question ;)
These are most definitely weird and hard times that we're experiencing, and Lord willing, they are only temporary. It's been a full month of being forced to stay at home as opposed to 'getting' to stay at home. I'm very much one of those introverted extroverts who has no problem with lots of alone time but also loves a good get-together. This time has brought on some revelations of sorts about myself that I always wondered about and now I'm getting to see first hand.
I've realized for a while that my energy is drained after going to parties or gatherings. It's not necessarily because I'm trying too hard to be social, but I think it has more to do with the fact that I am feeding off of a high when I'm around others who are outgoing and when I leave, it's like the subsequent crash. I've always been this way. I'm more silly and outgoing and extroverted when I'm around people I'm truly comfortable with. I have also realized that if I spend too much time being 'extroverted', I neglect any kind of schedule or tasks that I may have made for myself for at least a few hours while my mind resets.
Lately, I've noticed what happens on the flip side of my personality. Too much isolation (away from people beyond just my immediate family) has made me want to crawl deeper and deeper into isolating tendencies. Just going out to the store is starting to stress me out. I notice myself tensing up when anyone gets too close, which I attribute to the new habits that healthcare professionals are forcing people to use of staying at least six feet from any other human being. I've also started to lose basic social functions, like holding a normal sane conversation with someone outside my family. It's like I've warped back to middle school! I've always wondered what it would be like to feed my introverted side more than my extroverted side, and now that I know, I don't like it. I fully expect that my 'recovery' from being more introverted for the last month will take a while.
So if you are a friend, please know that I'm still loving you from a distance even if I don't text or call or message or comment on posts. This has been an experience unlike any other that I've had and it's almost out-of-body because I can see what's happening and yet, I can't seem to jolt myself out of this funk. FaceTime and Zoom can only do so much. I imagine a lot of people are experiencing these same exact feelings, and if so, I'm right here with you! I pray that we're on the downward slope of what's been going on in the world and that things will return to some semblance of normal soon. God remains in control and I have faith that whatever happens has been orchestrated for His glory and according to His will. All things work for good to those that love the Lord. Have faith that God is in control, hope that He will deliver us from present evils, and love God and others in a way that brings glory to Him!
God bless!
These are most definitely weird and hard times that we're experiencing, and Lord willing, they are only temporary. It's been a full month of being forced to stay at home as opposed to 'getting' to stay at home. I'm very much one of those introverted extroverts who has no problem with lots of alone time but also loves a good get-together. This time has brought on some revelations of sorts about myself that I always wondered about and now I'm getting to see first hand.
I've realized for a while that my energy is drained after going to parties or gatherings. It's not necessarily because I'm trying too hard to be social, but I think it has more to do with the fact that I am feeding off of a high when I'm around others who are outgoing and when I leave, it's like the subsequent crash. I've always been this way. I'm more silly and outgoing and extroverted when I'm around people I'm truly comfortable with. I have also realized that if I spend too much time being 'extroverted', I neglect any kind of schedule or tasks that I may have made for myself for at least a few hours while my mind resets.
Lately, I've noticed what happens on the flip side of my personality. Too much isolation (away from people beyond just my immediate family) has made me want to crawl deeper and deeper into isolating tendencies. Just going out to the store is starting to stress me out. I notice myself tensing up when anyone gets too close, which I attribute to the new habits that healthcare professionals are forcing people to use of staying at least six feet from any other human being. I've also started to lose basic social functions, like holding a normal sane conversation with someone outside my family. It's like I've warped back to middle school! I've always wondered what it would be like to feed my introverted side more than my extroverted side, and now that I know, I don't like it. I fully expect that my 'recovery' from being more introverted for the last month will take a while.
So if you are a friend, please know that I'm still loving you from a distance even if I don't text or call or message or comment on posts. This has been an experience unlike any other that I've had and it's almost out-of-body because I can see what's happening and yet, I can't seem to jolt myself out of this funk. FaceTime and Zoom can only do so much. I imagine a lot of people are experiencing these same exact feelings, and if so, I'm right here with you! I pray that we're on the downward slope of what's been going on in the world and that things will return to some semblance of normal soon. God remains in control and I have faith that whatever happens has been orchestrated for His glory and according to His will. All things work for good to those that love the Lord. Have faith that God is in control, hope that He will deliver us from present evils, and love God and others in a way that brings glory to Him!
God bless!
Darling daughter,
ReplyDeleteTake a deep breath. It's rarely as dark as it seems. Your reactions are quite human, and quite normal. This has been an adjustment of some magnitude for a lot of folks. But as James exhorted, "Consider it a great joy... whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing."
This is the work of Satan. But our God (and His Son) are so much greater and so much more powerful and so much wiser than our adversary -- by many magnitudes -- that He is able to use Satan's attempts to discourage us, in fact, to make us better people, better disciples. What a wonderful God we serve -- He takes Satan's best blows, and uses them to SAVE us. :)
I know you worry for your children (been there,... still doing that), but God has them in the hollow of His hand, perfectly and completely safe from any eternal harm. And honestly, as a mom to two of the sweetest little ones in the world, focus on something remarkably good about this: you and Rory are getting to spend MORE time with your girls, every day. Seriously, if this 'arrangement' were sustainable, it would be the greatest blessing anyone could ever wish for, at least in terms of the time you have to influence your children. Do not waste this valuable gift -- thank God for it. Every day. And tell your girls that while Satan may be trying to discourage us right now, God has turned it into a wonderful gift. That's what kind of God we serve.
Love you so very much.
==
Dad