Humble yourselves...

I had my first true humbling experience in a while today. Looking back on it, I am proud of myself for going to God in a moment when I knew I needed him.

Have you every had one of those days at work when everyone gets on your nerves? And by on your nerves, I mean that everyone is in your way and no one can do anything right and just the sound of some peoples voices puts you in the foulest mood! I know that I should really check myself before coming to work in a mood like that, but some days, I don't get in this mood until after lunch.

I don't want to toot my own horn, but I have been doing very well in my job and I am kind of like the jack of all trades at my office...people have realized that I can learn to do just about anything when taught, and they like to teach me everything. But that also means that I DO everything at some point. I don't mind getting things done when people need me to, but I HATE being taken advantage of. I have always hated the feeling of making someone do something when I can do it myself and I have time to do it (which is probably why I will never be a manager) nor do I like telling people what to do. But I think I hate worse when people do just that...they have plenty of time to do it themselves but they just don't feel like it so they pawn it off on someone else! I have discovered that some adults that I work with are the worst offenders of this....and it drives me crazy! These are grown men that won't do their job because they don't feel like it or make the excuse that "someone needs to be taught how to do it so I'll let you use this to teach them." I know what their doing...I'm not stupid.

I'm the kind of person who holds in all this resentment as well. I don't like confrontation so I just smile and say okay, all the while I am steaming inside and saying not very nice things about these people in my head. I am afraid that today, it boiled over a little. I snapped at one of the guys in my office who loves to do just what I mentioned above. I had had enough and I couldn't hold it in. I had so much anger about the situation and when I got back to my desk, I was so mad I was shaking! It made matters worse that one of our managers came over and told me that he was rescheduling some meeting until tomorrow morning (a meeting I see as totally pointless and a waste of everyone's time). I immediately thought of one thing....pray. Pray now. I am so glad that was my first thought. Sadly, it would not have been a year ago, but I feel like I have grown leaps and bounds in my spiritual life (not that I am anywhere near where I should be) in the last year or so. It took me a good minute or so praying for God to forgive me for being angry and to calm me and to help me let my light shine for Him instead of getting angry at others. It was a very humbling experience. Knowing that I couldn't calm myself down on my own was eye opening. I am ashamed that I got so angry but I was so glad that God was there to help me when I needed it desperately! I can only image how much angrier God gets when we don't do what we know we need to do. And He forgives us even before we know what we've done. He is so great and awesome and merciful and forgiving and I am unworthy to even be able to talk to him. I am so grateful to be his child.

God bless.

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