Pride is a large pill to swallow...

I've been trying to learn how important it is for me to swallow my pride and accept help when it is needed. It seems like pride is a rare thing in some parts of this country and yet a way of life in other parts. You see the farmer or rancher who isn't willing to give up on his job because that's the way it's always been and that's how he takes care of his family, even in such a tough economy. And then you see people who are too lazy or unwilling to work and think they are owed something and expect everyone else to help them when they won't even help themselves. I tend to think of myself in the former light. I don't want to toot my own horn or anything, but I worked hard through high school to get a scholarship to college and then worked during the summers to help pay my tuition. I even worked two jobs one summer just so that I could live in Florence with my friends and still save up for my tuition for the fall (more power to the people who have two or more jobs...cuz that sucked!) Earning that degree was a feeling that I can't even describe! I know I didn't do it alone because I had my God there holding my hand the whole way, as well as my parents, always willing to help me at the drop of a hat. It wasn't easy and it definitely wasn't fun sometimes but I did it and it felt so good that I had accomplished this great thing! Then getting a job in a seriously crippled economy...that definitely was by the grace of God! But I have worked hard to keep it and move up and it definitely fills me with a sense of pride to know that I am a contributing member of society and a real adult now : )

I don't feel that I'm afraid to ask for help, but it's so hard to admit defeat in some things and be humbled enough to ask for help. I think this is a lesson that God is trying to teach me. Rory and I are so blessed by everything we have and I remind myself daily that it's not even ours; it's God's and we are just stewards of it. We try to help others anytime we can. It's easy to give when you have the means, but it's not so easy to receive. Without going into detail, I recently had an experience with this. It's so hard for me to just take things that people are so willing to give when I think I can handle the situation myself. We received some help from some very dear friends and I had to check my pride at the door. They are the most generous and kind people I know and they give without hesitation or thought because they know they are only stewards of their blessings and they want to do God's will with what they have. That includes helping others. I heard in a class once that to be a good giver, you also have to be a good receiver. If you are unwilling to receive anything, no one will want to give you anything. This is especially hard because I do have a great deal of pride. I have this idea that if something needs to be done and I can do it, I want to be the one to do it. It's also that way at work, but that's another story for another post. I am trying to learn that I just need to say thank you and take the help and "pay it forward" to others that may need help from me. It's a hard pill to swallow but it's a work in progress. I feel that everyone needs a little bit of pride but too much or too little can be detrimental. It's learning that in-between that's so hard and, maybe by me humbling myself and asking God for help, I can learn just that right amount of balance.

God bless!