Being Raised to See Past Differences

Both of my parents grew up in the deep south of Mississippi during the desegregation movement of the 60's. Both were raised to have two different views of racism from their parents; my mom was pulled out of public school and put into private school because of the integration. My dad was kept in public school. Both agreed to raise their children to see past differences.

Being born in Denver, Colorado, there's not too much that I remember, but race was never something my parents made a big deal about. People were people. Red, yellow, black, white - you name it, it wasn't pointed out as an issue. I wasn't colorblind, but the differences were posed as just that, differences. It was like if one of my friends liked mayonnaise and I liked mustard. I had many friends from many different ethnic backgrounds. It didn't matter to me that my friends may have darker skin than me, or have different cultural norms than me. They were just my friends. Children have such an innocent view of the world at a young age. I wish I still had that view.

After moving to the south at age 6, I went to a public school that was integrated (as every school was back in the 90's). My best friend was a girl named Jasmine that lived a few streets down from my grandparent's house where we lived. She was black. Again, it didn't matter one iota to me. We would ride bikes and walk around the neighborhood (this was back when you could do that without fear of being kidnapped). I remember being so sad when we had to leave the next year because I had to leave Jasmine.

After moving to Birmingham, I attended elementary school at Grantswood Community School. Again, very mixed ethnically. Again, I didn't care.

As I got older, I began to notice that people were treated differently based on several different values: the color of their skin, the look of the clothes they were wearing, how someone talked, etc. Kids can persecute worse than most adults. But this is not normal behavior; it's learned. Sometime between the innocent age of 6 and the age of 10 (when I first started noticing it), children learn hate. I only learned it from what I observed at school. My parents always taught us to treat everyone with kindness, no matter what. They taught us that if someone is being mean to you or someone you know, tell an adult and then walk away from the situation. Bully's thrive off of reactions. If you don't give one, you demean their reason for bullying. Sometimes, this makes them stop, but sometimes, this makes them try harder.

I became more and more aware of the invisible line in the sand that others were drawing. Still, my parents refused to make it an issue...because it wasn't. In high school, I attended a rural school that had three black students. My junior year, a nearby school closed down and merged with our high school. This other school was majority black. It was quite a culture shock for members of our community to have their children now attend school with more than just three black students. To me, it was nothing. I won't say that it wasn't weird to go from majority white attendance to a more diverse group, but since I was apparently raised different than most of my peers, it didn't matter. This was when I really began to see the sheer level of hatred that people could have against others, just because they're different! It shocked me that the most hate spewed from the mouths of the parents of my peers. It made me look at adults in a very different light.

The turning point for me was when I started talking to a guy who was a football player. He was easy to talk to and super nice. I told my parents about him because I was at the age of dating, and I wanted them to know who I could potentially be going out on dates with. We talked for several weeks and I really was starting to like him. Then, all heck broke loose. He was black. Some of my "friends" realized that we were talking and started calling me names that I can't in good conscience write in this blog. I was labeled as white trash. All of this because I liked a guy. My "friends" told me I was going against the Bible (citing 2 Corinthians 6:14 as proof) and against my race. They told me to think about my future; if we ended up getting married and having kids, how would they be accepted.

This completely broke me.

I'm not proud of the fact that I caved to social standards in a backwoods town in Alabama. I explained everything to this guy in the midst of tears. He said that he completely understood and that he was sorry I was having to endure the hate. I can only imagine how he had to endure this his entire life. We stopped talking. We would still say hi to one another in the halls and make small talk on the field during practices, but it was a broken relationship that was completely the fault of hate. Satan knows just where to hit us.

Making differences the main reason for hate is just stupid. Do you hate your husband because he's a man and you're a woman? Do you hate your kids because they're younger than you? Do you hate the guy in the drive-thru line in front of you because he likes ham instead of turkey? NO! Don't even try to argue that skin color is different that these examples. It's not. No one person has the exact same color of skin. My husband can walk outside for 10 minutes and come in looking like a Mexican. Do I persecute him because he has more melanin in his skin than me? Of course not! So many people like to throw around Matthew 7:1 whenever it's convenient for them, but is this not exactly what so many people are doing when they exhibit racism?! You can no more judge someone based on the car they drive than the color of their skin. What makes a man is his actions. The Bible doesn't mention skin color. Why? Because it didn't matter. There were certainly different races mentioned (Greek, Hebrew, Ethiopian, Syrian, etc) but the only issue that was ever raised between races was whether or not someone was a believer. The color of someones skin doesn't automatically categorize them as a believer or a nonbeliever. This is why it's incorrect to cite 2 Corinthians 6:14 as a basis for condemning interracial relationships.

The devil is going to use any means necessary to create division and hate. In our current national state, it is increasingly apparent that he's using fear and hate. Pitting extremist race groups against one another. Convincing some that history has to be erased to ease hurt feelings. Yes, this nation has some painful parts of history, but tell me what nation doesn't? It was a crucial period in our history and those monuments that people want to tear down are just a reminder of how far we've come. The bad moments of history only make the good that much better. You can't block out the painful parts or you won't be able to see what brought us to where we are now. They also serve as a reminder of where we don't want to go back to. But in the end, the monuments are only physical reminders. They can be torn down or burned or whatever method people want to use; that doesn't take away facts. History still remains. I pray that people can open their eyes and see that hate only breeds more hate. Children witness these events and learn what hate looks like. Our nation is one of freedom of speech, freedom to peacefully protest, and a plethora of other freedoms. If you ignore these freedoms, what is the point of the law? Just because there are disagreements on points of view (which is a God-given freedom, I might add) doesn't mean that we should automatically hate and silence everyone who disagrees with our point of view. I pray that this country can heal from all of this hatred and people can start "becoming as little children".

God have mercy on us.

Comments

Popular Posts