20 weeks - Psalm 18:2

This week has been, to say the least, emotional. Even more so since I have all these crazy hormones running through me! I have had some of my highest highs and my lowest lows this week. But it is such a comfort to know that God is our strength, through everything.

It has become even more real that she has an identity now and not just Baby G! It's also made it that much more real for me to sympathize with the people who have lost children this week. I can't even image if I was to lose Emma.....and I haven't even met her yet!

Not to be a Debbie downer, but I just wanted to share some of the things from this week so that you will know who to lift up in prayer. My boss lost his son on Tuesday night in a terrible shooting accident. His son and his wife have four children and one on the way. This tore me up yesterday when I found out. I couldn't even imagine losing a child, much less my husband when I am pregnant with four other children to look after! Please pray for strength for this family as they will need a lot over the next long while!
Some family friends also lost their son this week. He had been missing since Sunday but there was a lot of speculation that he drowned in the river close to his apartment. He was only 25 years old. Yesterday, they recovered his body. I can't even begin to imagine that kind of loss. He was so young and had a whole life of experiences in front of him, but God had a better plan. He is using Adam's life to touch others that wouldn't have otherwise thought about the gospel and about God's plan and His saving grace. It's truly amazing to see the impact a godly life can have, even in death. I sat thinking this morning about how I have known of two college-age men to lose their lives in the last couple of years - both tragically. And both of them had lived selfless, godly lives and were ready when they left this world. It's truly amazing and gives me so much hope to see such young people who live, and die, for God! It gives me hope for my daughter that maybe she can grow up in a world so corrupt and still be a light for God. It also shames me though that at that age, I was so far from ready, I have no doubt where I would have gone had I died.
We also have a friend who is very sick with cancer and is in his last days. It is devastating to see lives lost when you aren't expecting it, but it is equally devastating to know that it's coming and have to wait. It brings out the selfishness of wanting him to get better and be there to see his grandchildren grow up and give my children the experiences that he gave me and my brothers when we were growing up. It's so hard to see him suffer and be in pain when I know that he wants, more than anything, to finally be pain free and get his final reward and be with God. I know where Mr. Ray is going without a shadow of a doubt and I know he does too. It just pains me that he will miss so much here - but when you really think about it, he won't really be missing anything. He'll get to experience something so much better than anything here and we will get to see him again someday.

But where there is death and loss, there is also new life! I can't help but think about "the circle of life". There will always be death. I think about a quote I heard one time - I'm pretty sure it was in a movie - "No one will get out of this alive." How true! We're all headed to the same end...maybe not the same way, but the outcome is always the same.

So enough sadness! If you didn't know already, Baby G is a girl! Emma Kathryn Guthrie will be here in April! It's so crazy that she now has a name and she even has a little personality! She likes to sleep during the day and play at night when mommy is ready for bed ; ) The ultrasound on Tuesday was so amazing! She is so much bigger now (which really, she's only 10 oz and about 6 in long) and we got to see her moving around a little bit. She was all scrunched up in there with one of her feet nearly touching her head! My little acrobat : ) One thing she did that just cracked me and Rory up was she had her hand up at her head playing with her ear....something that Rory did as a kid! Oh goodness, already like her daddy. Everything looked perfect per the ultrasound tech and she's already measuring in the 70th percentile for her weight! I figure she'll be around 7 1/2 to 8 lbs when she's ready to come. I was 7 and Rory was around 8 so I'm going for the median : )

I've started to feel those "round ligament" pains that I keep reading about and that my friends have been warning me about. They are definitely no bueno! It almost feels like she's going to push right out of the bottom of my stomach! She's been moving around a good bit too. It doesn't feel like a butterfly anymore but her kicks and punches still do : ) I'm kind of excited and ready for her to be able to kick so other people can feel it (besides Rory). This morning, she had her little foot sticking up and talk about uncomfortable! I felt like she was trying so hard to reach my ribs. Little stinker : )

The hunger is still in full force but it's getting hard to find things I really want to eat : / I almost have to stare at something for a few minutes and tell myself that I really want it to be able to eat it. I have started to gain a little weight so something is going right : ) I'm dreading when the scale shows over 125 though...I've never been that heavy and I know that I'll freak out! But hey, it's just a number and whatever gives Emma the most room, I'm all for!

We're gearing up for the holidays too. Crazy! I can't believe we're less than a week from Thanksgiving! We'll be headed up to Tennessee this weekend for a Guthrie Thanksgiving and then next week will be the Speck Thanksgiving in Mississippi. I am SO looking forward to an endless spread of good food! I've got my stretchy pants all ready! ; )

Hope everyone has a happy holiday with family and friends and lots of good food!

20 weeks to go!

God bless!

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